Je Mill was digging through some old comedy clips last night and came across the classic Monty Python ‘fish slap’ skit. You know the one, a safari-clad Michael Palin who repeatedly runs up to a similarly-clad John Cleese and pummels him with a small fish before Cleese pulls out a gigantic trout and bumps Palin into a river.
This same dance seems to occur in the Harry Kane transfer story. Bayern Munich spent the whole summer giving Tottenham president, Daniel Levy, a series of small blows in an attempt to keep the England striker away from north London. But Levy, like Cleese, remains firm and ready to ward off Bayern.
The Bundesliga champions are now believed to have tabled a fourth bid of around £94.5m, having previously said their third of £86m was a final offer and a result would be decided. one way or another last Friday. Ominously, we couldn’t help but notice that when Palin enters for the fourth time, that’s when Cleese has had enough and smashes her taunter over the head to end it.
At least Gary Neville doesn’t believe the idea of Kane moving is a dead parrot that has ceased to be. Oh no, speaking on the latest episode of The Overlap, the former Manchester United defender believes the masterminds at Old Trafford are hatching a plan. “Hopefully they’re watching what’s going on and they’re smart and waiting, seeing that an £86m deal could be done with Bayern and Kane says, ‘I’m not going, I want to go to United,'” Neville said. “Tottenham rejected that offer because they know he won’t go to Bayern. Harry Kane wants them to believe he’ll take that money and then say, ‘No, I want to go to United.’ Levy would He knows he won’t go to Munich or he’ll accept it. Exactly.
Maybe Neville has some theories about liverpoolthe attempt to do Romeo Lavia their last purchase at Southampton. The Reds could have saved the best part of £1billion had they and Saints been scouted over the years, so they are reluctant to throw another £50million at Southampton. A new offer of around £46m was turned down earlier this week, following earlier offers of £37m and £41m.
In a twist/untwist, Lavia was left out of Southampton’s traveling squad for Tuesday night’s Carabao Cup defeat at League Two Gillingham. Earlier today, the Belgian teenager posted an update on social media saying he had ‘good vibes’. They cannot have been for his current employers as the saints were subject to the result of the shock of the night.
With Kyle Walker ready to snub Bayern Munich and stay at Man City, the factory is frustrated by all this inertia. Come on, someone just moved! Luckily there could be pens in the works at City after all, with Pep Guardiola keen to sign West HamIt is Lucas Paqueta. The Brazilian midfielder was snapped up by the Hammers last summer for a club-record fee of £51m but City may have to shell out £70m.
That would leave a hole for West Ham after the loss of Declan Rice, but they are looking to fill it with the capture of the Mexican midfielder. Edson Alvarez from Ajax for £32million and hopefully James Ward-Prowse from Southampton although this one has entered ‘fish dance’ territory with the Hammers tapping in at £30m and the Saints wanting £40m.